I am Jack's total misunderstanding of the English language

Truthfully, do you want to know how bad I want every one in America to speak English? I mean if my wants and wishes for this to come true filled up a 500 ft balloon that shit would have popped by now. So I bet you're saying "Hey Jack! Why are you so damn angry at people who can't speak English?" Well that's a very good question that has a very good answer.

People who can't speak English shouldn't be allowed in our country. When is this country going to take the time to educate these fuckin' people and get them to stop trying to call me? That's right, people who know very minimal English will call me and try and troubleshoot. See if you can figure out how that equates into every thing. That'd be like me trying to ask a fuckin' blind man how many lights are lit on his modem.

Just to clarify I have no problem if you speak another language here, as long as you can speak the language that the majority of people fluently speak in America. I spent 20 minutes last night with some Japanese lady trying to get a number that should take at minimal 2 minutes or less to find. I couldn't get the bitch to understand which box she should look at. And to begin with she didn't understand when I asked her what problem she was having.

I greet people like so "Thanks for calling ********** my name is Jack, how can I help you today/tonight?" To which she replies "A blah flau flau" And I might add I do not remember what she said but it was gibberish anyway. Did I also mention that the words she did speak she pronounced poorly? How about the fact that almost every answer was met with something that made no sense?


Here's how it went down in not too many words.

Me: Okay there's going to be a label with what's called a mac address on it, I need you to find that label and read off the mac address.

Stupid: There's a what?

Me: It's called a mac address and will start with 2 zeros.

Stupid: No I don't see any thing like that, there is a serial numba.

Me: No that's not what we're looking for, it's going to start with 2 zeros

Stupid: 203458923156

Me: No that's way too many digits and it would start with 2 zeros. Does what you have, have a phone cord attached to the back? There should be a phone cord, do you see one?

Stupid: No it doesn't, I don't see any thing really except a thick white chord an a powa cable.

Me: No that's not it, is what you have there big enough to hold with two hands?

Stupid: Yes.

Me: Okay that's not what we want, what we want is going to fit in the palm of your hand, it's that small.


Anyways I'm all ready about to throw up thinking about how painful it got after that. Suffice it to say there had to be a communication barrier. Even the stupidest people I talk to at least know the difference between the devices connected to their TV and the devices connected to their computer and phone. I really can't wait until pressing 2 for Spanish isn't even a thought any more, and that shit is obliterated from my phone lines. Some phone trees won't even respond until you listen to the whole message and that includes that Spanish shit.