Telephone Antics

One thing, or I should say many things I experience as a tech support rep agitate me. One example is the things people do while they are on the phone. For whatever reason there is always some activity in my callers' lives that they just can't stop doing while they are on the phone. I feel that this is just one example of how people like to make themselves feel busy when they really don't have shit to do. I now present you with a list of said activities.

• Answering the other phone when they are already talking to me - Example is a cell phone or another phone line in the house.


• Hanging out with or feeding the dog - They bark up a storm. For some reason all the people who call me have small yappy dogs. Personality trait any body?


• Eating, chewing, spitting, chomping, slirping, and gulping - Nobody on earth likes hearing these things and I thought that common sense was something most people had. Obviously I was wrong.


• Not knowing who you are calling - Part of my job involves taking a massive amount of notes. When people have phone issues we have to take down a few example telephone numbers of the people who are having issues being called or calling the subscriber. On some calls there exists a very special type of person who for some unknown reason has no idea what phone number has been calling them. You call yourself a friend? For shame.


• Driving while calling tech support - A large part of what I do also involves troubleshooting issues. As some of you may have guessed, you actually have to be home in order to do this. A lot of people aren't and sound like they came with their own personal wind tunnel complete with beeping car horns and screaming pedestrians.


• Not at home - This goes right along with the last one. They call from work, or school, or even while they are standing at the bus stop. How in the hell are you going to know if I fixed any thing if you aren't where the problem is occuring?


• Conferencing other tech support guys in - Not only is this a huge no no but it also makes the customer look like a dick. They basically try to get another tech support guy to explain his point of view so that we can't retort with any thing else aside from it being our fault. The only down side to their argument is that we won't even take the call.


• Talking too fast - What was that? I'm sorry, did I hear you right? I hope you like hearing these phrases if you talk like you are on speed.


• Not listening - Obviously you called me for a reason; is there any reason why you can't listen to what I'm saying instead of saying "huh" every few seconds?


• Says their name too fast - Wow, what the hell was that you just said? For all I know you are Babagadooshinababi. Just because you say your name every day doesn't mean that every body else hears it the way you do. Slow the fuck down so I can tell who you are.


• Not giving the area code - There are billions of people total on the earth, a lot of them live in different area codes. So why then do people insist on giving me 7 digits instead of 10? Well, frankly I think the answer is because they don't think at all. I also think it's because the people who call me like to think that nobody else in the world is more important than them so they think every asshole in the world lives in their area code.


• Has a baby right next to the phone - Why in the hell must I hear your 2 month old scream as loud as they can into my ear? Why can't you just put the little bastard down for two seconds? PLEASE!