Things people say

Going right along with the last web log I'm sure you know that I also speak to a lot of people in one day. You've probably also guessed, when you deal with people, hilarity almost always ensues. People say the stupidest things and that's what this entry is all about. Enjoy.

• "I know it's your service causing the problem" - No, you don't know or else you wouldn't be calling me. If you knew any thing you'd know how to fix it. Shut up and let me fix your issue.


• "I'm a subscriber" - Why in the world do I need to know you subscribe to my service? Isn't it very likely that I assume you are a subscriber if you call me? It's like walking into McDonald's and saying "Hi, I'm a McDonald's customer".


• "I have problems" - Yes this much is obvious, you do have problems but what is the issue you are having?


• "My computer is acting funny" - There are a few variations of this but this is my favorite. The comment always brings to mind a computer that has sprung to life, sprouted legs and a mouth, and is now telling jokes to all your guests.


• "Was that a capital 5?" - In case you are wondering if I made this up I'll tell you now that the answer is no, I'm not making it up at all.


• "It has to be plugged in?" - Let me ask my own question: Do electronic devices need to be plugged in? Yes, yes they do, that's why they are called ELECTRONIC devices.


• "How does your company expect to stay in business when they cut off a customer that doesn't pay their bill?" - As a matter of fact I wonder how our company would stay in business if we just let every body not pay their bill.


• "Why" - Because I said so, didn't you learn any thing from your parents?


• "What do you mean you can't?" - I mean I can't, are we not clear on something here? Pay attention to the wording.


• "::Baby Cries::" - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!